Self-Help Reviews, July 15, 2011
Jul 15, 2011Burton, Natasha & others. The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted…but Chose To Ignore. Adams Media. 2011. c.256p. ISBN 9781440512650. pap. $14.95. SELF-HELP
This captivating book is based on an abundance of bad date anecdotes and advice pulled together at www.bigredflags.com by Burton (relationship editor, Glo.com), comedy writer Julie Fishman, and yoga instructor Meagan McCrary. The authors categorize the stories and red flag lists into chapters dealing with specific male faults, such as the need to grow up and being a freak in bed. Readers will cringe at some of the real-life pick-up lines (e.g., “I’m on top of the hotness tree”) and Valentine’s Day gifts (e.g., a lip hair bleach kit). While the book offers warnings for single women, it is primarily a fun, somewhat voyeuristic window into the disastrous side of the dating world.
Flowers, Steve & Bob Stahl. Living with Your Heart Wide Open: How Mindfulness & Compassion Can Free You from Unworthiness, Inadequacy & Shame. New Harbinger. Jul. 2011. c.200p. bibliog. ISBN 9781572249356. pap. $16.95. SELF-HELP
The practice of mindfulness is also helpful in ridding oneself of feelings of inadequacy, self-loathing, and a constant sense of isolation according to the authors, both of whom have founded and directed mindfulness-based stress-reduction programs across the country. Pulling from Western psychology and Buddhist thought, Flowers and Stahl explore the concept of self-authorship and help readers, through mindfulness practices, to break free of defeating stories and experience insight and self-compassion. Topics of interest include why pleasing others doesn’t work in the long run and how self-improvement efforts can be a trap. Clear and comprehensive, this book is a valuable addition to mindfulness literature.
Gabor, Don. How To Start a Conversation and Make Friends. rev. ed. Touchstone: S. & S. 2011. c.224p. illus. index. ISBN 9781451610994. pap. $14. SELF-HELP
From small-talk expert and writer Gabor (Words That Win) comes an updated version of his 2001 book. He covers all aspects of conversing, from asking the right questions to using body language effectively and dealing with awkward moments. Several sections address online communication in the personal, dating, and business environments. A particularly interesting chapter on cross-cultural conversational customs is a plus. If readers can manage not to be overwhelmed by all the tips to remember, their conversational styles will undoubtedly improve.
Harris, Russ. The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt. Trumpeter: Shambhala, dist. by Random. Sept. 2011. c.240p. index. ISBN 9781590309230. pap. $15.95. SELF-HELP
According to Harris (The Happiness Trap), confidence is a skillful psychological game and knowing the right rules will help develop genuine, lasting self-confidence. He proposes an approach known as A-C-T, or Acceptance and Commitment Training, which involves the practice of mindfulness, defusion, expansion, and engagement. Essentially, he advocates accepting one’s thoughts and feelings, choosing a valued direction, and then taking mindful action. One needs to practice all of the above until the process becomes second nature. The advice seems sound, but readers have to wade through a lot of text to discover the nuggets of value. Unexceptional.
Hill, Janelle & others. Life After the Military: A Handbook for Transitioning Veterans. Government Institutes. 2011. c.240p. bibliog. index. ISBN 9781605907406. $34.95. SELF-HELP
Wounded Warrior Handbook coauthors Hill and Don Philpott and Cheryl Lawhorne, who works with the Wounded Warrior Regiment in Quantico, VA, use their extensive experience working with veterans to put together the information veterans need to more easily transition to civilian life. They offer practical advice on finding employment or education, obtaining VA medical benefits, and planning finances. The authors provide the specifics of benefits, including the names, phone numbers, and websites of the appropriate VA agencies for each claim. The four appendixes list an abundance of transition-related websites, transition checklists for the recovery care program, a guide to entrepreneurship, and lists of VA facilities by geographic area. Excellent for a new vet, this is an essential purchase for public libraries.
Jones, Dennis Merritt. The Art of Uncertainty: How To Live in the Mystery of Life and Love It. Tarcher: Penguin Group (USA). 2011. c.304p. bibliog. ISBN 9781585428724. pap. $14.95. SELF-HELP
Jones (The Art of Being) draws on his spiritual background and the teachings of various philosophers to help readers embrace the uncertainty of life. Essentially, he writes that one must choose to listen to one’s intuition and have the faith to follow its guidance and take action accordingly. Jones teaches readers how to use mindfulness to deal with fears, plumb the depths of their potential, appreciate abundance, and make conscious decisions. Each of the 14 chapters delivers a lesson, a mindfulness exercise, and points to ponder. While Jones seems somewhat overly optimistic about experiencing excitement over one’s future, he offers a clear-cut way to better self-understanding and experiencing life to its fullest.
McMeekin, Gail. The 12 Secrets of Highly Successful Women: A Portable Life Coach for Creative Women. Conari: Red Wheel/Weiser. Aug. 2011. c.256p. bibliog. ISBN 9781573244930. pap. $17.95. SELF-HELP
McMeekin (The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women) challenges women to be confident, think big, and embrace the future. She draws on interviews with successful female entrepreneurs, abundant research, and personal coaching experience with clients to help women get in touch with their inner muses, write business plans that mesh with their passions, and manage stress. While McMeekin’s basic business strategies are sound, the book is oriented toward the creative woman starting her own company. Better choices with broader coverage are Mika Brzezinski’s Knowing Your Value or Selena Rezvani’s The Next Generation of Women Leaders.
Morrison, Suzanne. Yoga Bitch: One Woman’s Quest To Conquer Skepticism, Cynicism, and Cigarettes on the Path to Enlightenment. Three Rivers: Crown. Aug. 2011. c.352p. ISBN 9780307717443. pap. $15. SELF-HELP
Writer/performer Morrison offers a totally different take on the yoga experience, based on her one-woman show of the same title. She writes from the perspective of a former cigarette-smoking sluggard who embarked on a life-changing two-month intensive yoga program in Bali. In diary form, she candidly discusses her issues with meditation, exercise, and relationships. It’s a convoluted course, with no real “aha!” moments; however, Morrison offers a distinctive view of the New Age experience.
Serani, Deborah. Living with Depression: Why Biology and Biography Matter Along the Path to Hope and Healing. Rowman & Littlefield. Jul. 2011. c.208p. bibliog. index. ISBN 9781442210561. $29.95. SELF-HELP
Psychologist Serani shares her own experience and related research in an effort to help all those suffering from depression to understand the disease and negotiate the labyrinth of health-care options and stigma attached to depression. She advocates knowing one’s triggers, avoiding toxic people, staying connected with support systems, and making a plan to thwart suicide attempts. Serani offers validity and help to those who suffer from mood disorders but feel ashamed or don’t know where to turn for help. This is a valuable resource with the potential to save lives.
Shelton, Michael. Gay Men and Substance Abuse: A Basic Guide for Addicts and Those Who Care for Them. Hazelden. 2011. c.216p. bibliog. ISBN 9781592858897. pap. $14.95. SELF-HELP
There are distinctive challenges for gay men involved with substance-abuse problems. Shelton, a nationally certified treatment counselor, explores a number of factors specific to gay culture that exacerbate the abuse of alcohol and jeopardize recovery, such as the coming-out process, intensified focus on body image, and the club scene. Shelton discusses how to find help and the role that partners and counselors can play. A particularly useful chapter is that on comprehending the meaning of life without drugs. Excellent for this niche market.
Singer, Alan. Creating Your Perfect Family Size: How To Make an Informed Decision About Having a Baby. Jossey-Bass. 2011. c.224p. bibliog. ISBN 9780470900314. pap. $16.95. SELF-HELP
As a licensed family therapist and eighth child in his family, Singer has the experience to guide couples in choosing whether and how many children to have. The essence of the book is a series of comprehensive self-assessment quizzes dealing with physical and mental health, financial situations, family background, and so forth. He guides couples in considering their ideal family size, the spacing of children, and the best time to have children, if at all. Singer skillfully fills a void in the literature on this topic without judgment, and would be of assistance to any individual or couple considering having children.
Stover, Sara Avant. The Way of the Happy Woman: Living the Best Year of Your Life. New World Library, dist. by PGW. 2011. c.320p. illus. index. ISBN 9781577319825. pap. $15.95. SELF-HELP
In an effort to help women find happiness from the inside, freelance writer and yoga teacher Stover offers a wide range of practices to help readers simplify, slow down, and be in tune with natural cycles. She pulls primarily from the mental and physical practices of yoga and meditation to offer suggestions on healing the mind, body, and spirit. The material is organized around the seasons of the year and includes ideas such as eating in-season fruits and vegetables, savoring the colors and smells of the outdoors, and performing moon rituals. More than that, the book offers a path toward loving oneself. A winner of a read for all those open to New Age practices and thought.
Ward, William E. The Good Enough Spouse: Resolve or Dissolve Conflicted Marriages. New Horizon. Jul. 2011. c.236p. ISBN 9780882823645. pap. $14.95. SELF-HELP
According to licensed psychologist Ward, the key to a successful marriage is the willingness, on behalf of both spouses, to actively explore ways to communicate, compromise, and collaborate. He uses case studies from his 30 years in private practice to illustrate how to respond to challenges, help the other to be healthy, and correct neurotic connections. While it takes two to make or break a marriage, Ward guides readers through examining their own perceptions, expectations, and behaviors. Healing after a divorce and avoiding repetitive mistakes is also covered. Helpful advice for the reflective reader.
